How To Boost Your Self-Esteem and Confidence

Copyright (c) 2010 Jim Gerlits

How often have you listened to that inner voice within you – a word of praise “aren’t you special!’, a positive reinforcement about yourself ‘go for it, you can do it!’, or even an outright discouragement ‘you are just not worth it!’. This is your self-esteem speaking. Self-esteem is one’s appraisal of one’s worth. Self-esteem is an index of the amount of confidence and satisfaction you have in yourself. Self esteem is the collection of beliefs we have about ourselves.

This voice speaks in two ways – it can be positive and reassuring for some – for those who have a high self-esteem. At the same time, for those with a low self-esteem, this inner voice constantly criticizes, pulls them down, and negates their achievements.

The characteristics of a low self-esteem individual are all too evident, degrees, of course may vary – non-risk taker; looks for approvals externally; fears rejection; insecure, anxious, nervous with others; irrational beliefs.

Why is self-esteem so important? How we feel about ourselves affects how we act and react. A high self-esteem is as essential as oxygen, as uplifting as the fragrance of fresh roses, as warm as the golden sunshine – so very vital to a healthy life and state of mind. A low self-esteem can result in self-doubt, stress, anxiety, relationship problems, underachievement , spiraling down to a lack of interest in life itself

Self-esteem is derived from many factors – our goals in life, achievements, place in the world, how we relate to others, our successes/failures, how we perceive others seeing us, to name a few. Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lifetime- beginning right from our childhood- and is constantly being influenced by our interactions with different people and activities.

A positive self-esteem reinforces your confidence. If you have confidence, you tend to respect yourself. This further translates into a respect for others, improved relationships, confidence in one’s achievements, willingness and drive to pursue happiness, success etc. Confidence in self-helps you cope with situations in a positive light, to accept failures with a shrug, gives you the courage to try again.

A positive self image and confidence walk hand in hand both are essential towards having a healthy and fulfilling life. Therefore, it is very essential to focus on building a positive self image for oneself, in order to avoid the feeling of being incapacitated in our daily lives. Find below a few tips on building a positive self image, which is by no means an exhaustive list.

Give yourself positive feedback – don’t put yourself down Do not dwell on your mistakes Celebrate your strengths Be yourself – in all situations Set realistic goals for oneself Expand your comfort zones – try new things

Like most things in life, this cannot be achieved overnight, but taking a small, confident step at a time. At every small measure of success, praise yourself, set a next achievable goal, things are looking up surely.

Receive the Many Rewards of a Positive Attitude

I am the type of person who used to have a very negative attitude to most aspects of life. I am not alone in thinking this way as most of the people I meet seem to be constantly moaning about different things and basically feeling sorry for themselves. This article looks at the reasons and benefits of having a more positive outlook on life.

About ten years ago I decided that I needed to have a change of approach. I wanted to be a happy and care-free person and was fed up of always being stressed and worrying about the future. To achieve this I started to read many self-help, confidence type books and websites.

There was a regular message which came from this literature which was to think more positive and to believe in your ability to succeed in whatever you attempt to do.

This is easy to write or say, but in reality it is difficult to implement in practice. Of course I tried but in truth I did not really believe in the whole practice. I would go into a task thinking, I can do this, but it would still end up in failure.

I could not understand what was going wrong so I therefore went back to the books to try to learn more. There was a new and even more important message which I had missed the first time around. What I had to do was to take a positive out of whatever happens to me, even if this is learning from my failings.

As an example of taking a positive from whatever happens in life, is something which happened in my family recently. My nan has recently passed away, she was eighty-eight. I used to visit her at least once a week at the flat where she lived. She was a very honest person and always talked very openly to me. Around two months before she died she told me that she was very tired and that she no longer wanted to be on this planet.

I was quite shocked by her admission and asked her what was wrong. She stated that she had nothing to look forward to and that she did not want to reach a point where she could no longer bath herself etc. She continued that she hoped that I would not grieve for to long when she did die and that she wanted me to be happy for her.

This was quite upsetting for me to hear but at least she was being honest of course. Two months later my dad phoned me and told me that my nan had passed away in the night.

I was obviously upset and the thought of never being able to see her again hit me hard. I then thought about what she had said and looked up to the sky and gave my nan a smile and a message, I love you.

I thought positive about the whole event and was actually happy for her. I hope that one day we will meet again.

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