There a few qualities a girl has; she has it in them right from her childhood. Instead of calling it ‘qualities’, I would prefer calling them ‘instincts’. They could be categorised as good or bad; most of them are used to define our species- the female species. We have a lot of instincts- like fashion, beauty, femininity, hesitation, shyness and the most important of all GOSSIP!!!!
I am sure there are many more instincts that we have, which I seems to have missed; but that’s not required here. All I want to talk about is the most vicious, dramatic, spicy, scandalous and darkest side of females, which is, GOSSIP!!!
The worst gossip a girl has in her life is definitely, surely, 100%ly because of a boy’s TOTALLY made up story!!!
They have the capacity to make a total baseless story, way far off from reality and they spread it with 3 times the speed of girls. But girls have been very old and consistent players of gossip game and we play by the rules-
1) Do not mess up with the facts of the story.
Eg- You see sparks between two classmates of the class and you have recently seen them sitting in a restaurant.
Girl’s version-
That day we saw Miss. X waiting outside the class, and saw Mr. Y giving a short call while he was sitting in the class. Miss. X picked up, she must have said, “yes, it’s clear, nobody around” and Mr. Y swiftly moved out of the class and then they both were not seen in the college. Once I saw them talking below the stair case of Laboratory. And yesterday they both were holding hands and talking in a restaurant.
Now here are possibilities which are floating in the air, the data of the gossip are all “assumed”.
Boy’s version-
Miss. X was was waiting outside the class, Mr. Y called the girl and said, ” Ive found a place, lets go and do it” and then both were not seen, Mr. Y had told us of the place, we saw Miss. X’s two wheeler outside the flat, and they had a nice f#$k. Mr. Y told us that she was a virgin. My friend Z had seen them smooching below the staircase. We had seen them in a restaurant few days back, they were getting nasty.
TOTALLY MADE UP!!! The 1st rule completely ignored….
The Truth-
Miss. X was outside the class, Mr. Y was talking to somebody else on the phone in the class, he came out, none of the girls saw them leaving together and then Mr. Y & Miss. X were not seen in the college, just like few other students of the class.
The couple were standing below the stair case of the laboratory along with few more students.
They were just having a casual chat in a cafe WITHOUT holding hands.
If you do not maintain the authenticity, you will never be trusted with your news and might not be involved in gossip anymore. But its funny that boys keep doing it, they are believed and maintained; maybe because all guys do the same thing.
2) Never make a story that never happened.
Eg- One of your friend a boy/girl is not in contact with anyone for over a year.
Girl’s Version-
“———————————————————————”
Boy’s Version-
That girl has moved into a live-in relationship in the same house of her parents and her parents are fine with it. OR
That boy has turned gay and last we knew he tried to freshen up with my friend.
I can’t say anything about it, a false story is a false story, but it impacts few people’s lives.
3) Never claim to be the source of gossip.
The 1st rule of gossip always is the basic rule, even though it is you who has witnessed the incident; never ever claim to be a source of it. Because the start of a gossip is just a spark, you never know what fire can a small spark start. So if the gossip takes the path of “Chinese whispers” and turns out to be a great story; and the people involved in it want to kill the person who started it; then you don’t want to be that person…. Do you????
And boys just give the names of the other boys to prove the authenticity, and those other boys also agree to prove their studdNESS!!! Most of the time people are just concerned with the news, nobody cares to clarify it!!!
Use the terms, “A little birdy told me…”, ‘The news is floating…”, “I have heard from somebody…. can’t tell you who…”, “I have overheard…” etc. etc.
4) Keep your gossip and spice very tight within your group or with your trusted people.
Another most important point is that you should be very very loyal to your group. Remember; gossip is a habit and so you should never gossip about the people in your group to the people outside the group.
We must appreciate boys in this point, they have a very strong unity amongst them. Girls have a limited group of 5 or maybe more; but boys have one group which is called – BOYS. Gossip may come from girl’s hostel to boy’s hostels (Girlfriends giving info to their boyfriends); but no news can flow from Boy’s hostel to a girl’s hostel. They have a very strong network which they maintain to the rest of their lives; but girls mostly have short term friendships; it changes from schools to colleges to work places.
5) Use ambiguous statements and leave room for guess work.
When you become the spokesperson in a gossip room; try using ambiguous statements. This will save you if you get into trouble; as ambiguous statements can have more than one meanings; you can conveniently change your track as per your requirement. Also, ambiguous meanings will leave room for more spice and guesswork, this leaves people guessing and wanting for more.
Boys do not have this art, they are blunt and straight!
6) Use an unreliable person to spread a good word/ get back at your enemy.
There are times when you want a good word about you to spread. And if you really want to spread it big and fast; just praise any unimportant man/woman in front of the person who is not trustworthy in keeping secrets.
Such people are very good tools to get back to your enemy; you want to spread a bad word about your enemy, just use the above mentioned rules and slip your vicious words in the ears of the “Upset-stomach-for-secrets” person…. You know next!!!
7) Decide your side
One of the most important rules to keep in mind if you want to remain safe, happy and survive in the gossip game is…. Deciding your side!!!
There maybe 2 or 3 gossip groups in your office or your college. You cannot afford to remain loyal to all or at least two of them at a time. You have to take just one and only one side and remain loyal to it. Though Gossip is a negative trait and very few people accept that they do it; it is still very important to carve out your image in your social circle. When you are just on one side; you will be recognised as a part of one group. Wouldn’t it be better if people say, “Don’t utter a word about Miss. R in front of her, they both are in the same group” instead of, “She is such a snake, she says something to her and something else to other, she has created a hell here.” Would you want people to take their coffee mugs and move away from you???
CONCLUSION
So these are the few rules of Gossip… remember, Gossip has only two sides, fun and pain. Fun for the people who do it and pain for the people who are the discussion. Gossip is a very sadistic and cruel form of entertainment that we seek; though we share a few laughs, bond with friends but when our gossip is at the expense of some body’s life; then that is where we should draw a line. Gossip on little details is fine and manageable, but gossip which is false and baseless can ruin lives. A girl is going through a tough time in her marriage of 5 yrs because her husband met some old friends of the girl and a word slipped out of their mouths that she had sex with a boy on a snooker table. A total baseless story that floated in the school time just to have a few laughs has resulted in a life long doubt and pain for a couple and a shaky future of their 3 yr old kid. So please be careful and listen to your conscience before you indulge in a gossip!!
Happy Gossiping!