There a few qualities a girl has; she has it in them right from her childhood. Instead of calling it ‘qualities’, I would prefer calling them ‘instincts’. They could be categorised as good or bad; most of them are used to define our species- the female species. We have a lot of instincts- like fashion, beauty, femininity, hesitation, shyness and the most important of all GOSSIP!!!!
I am sure there are many more instincts that we have, which I seems to have missed; but that’s not required here. All I want to talk about is the most vicious, dramatic, spicy, scandalous and darkest side of females, which is, GOSSIP!!!

The worst gossip a girl has in her life is definitely, surely, 100%ly because of a boy’s TOTALLY made up story!!!
They have the capacity to make a total baseless story, way far off from reality and they spread it with 3 times the speed of girls. But girls have been very old and consistent players of gossip game and we play by the rules-

1) Do not mess up with the facts of the story.
Eg- You see sparks between two classmates of the class and you have recently seen them sitting in a restaurant.
Girl’s version-

That day we saw Miss. X waiting outside the class, and saw Mr. Y giving a short call while he was sitting in the class. Miss. X picked up, she must have said, “yes, it’s clear, nobody around” and Mr. Y swiftly moved out of the class and then they both were not seen in the college. Once I saw them talking below the stair case of Laboratory. And yesterday they  both were holding hands and talking in a restaurant.

Now here are possibilities which are floating in the air, the data of the gossip are all “assumed”.

Boy’s version-

Miss. X was was waiting outside the class, Mr. Y called the girl and said, ” Ive found a place, lets go and do it” and then both were not seen, Mr. Y had told us of the place, we saw Miss. X’s two wheeler outside the flat, and they had a nice f#$k. Mr. Y told us that she was a virgin. My friend Z had seen them smooching below the staircase. We had seen them in a restaurant few days back, they were getting nasty.

TOTALLY MADE UP!!! The 1st rule completely ignored….

The Truth-
Miss. X was outside the class, Mr. Y was talking to somebody else on the phone in the class, he came out, none of the girls saw them leaving together and then Mr. Y & Miss. X were not seen in the college, just like few other students of the class.

The couple were standing below the stair case of the laboratory along with few more students.
They were just having a casual chat in a cafe WITHOUT holding hands.

If you do not maintain the authenticity, you will never be trusted with your news and might not be involved in gossip anymore. But its funny that boys keep doing it, they are believed and maintained; maybe because all guys do the same thing.

2) Never make a story that never happened.
Eg- One of your friend a boy/girl is not in contact with anyone for over a year.

Girl’s Version-

“———————————————————————”

Boy’s Version-

That girl has moved into a live-in relationship in the same house of her parents and her parents are fine with it. OR
That boy has turned gay and last we knew he tried to freshen up with my friend.

I can’t say anything about it, a false story is a false story, but it impacts few people’s lives.

3) Never claim to be the source of gossip.

The 1st rule of gossip always is the basic rule, even though it is you who has witnessed the incident; never ever claim to be a source of it. Because the start of a gossip is just a spark, you never know what fire can a small spark start. So if the gossip takes  the path of “Chinese whispers” and turns out to be a great story; and the people involved in it want to kill the person who started it; then you don’t want to be that person…. Do you????

And boys just give the names of the other boys to prove the authenticity, and those other boys also agree to prove their studdNESS!!! Most of the time people are just concerned with the news, nobody cares to clarify it!!!

Use the terms, “A little birdy told me…”, ‘The news is floating…”, “I have heard from somebody…. can’t tell you who…”, “I have overheard…” etc. etc.

4) Keep your gossip and spice very tight within your group or with your trusted people.

Another most important point is that you should be very very loyal to your group. Remember; gossip is a habit and so you should never gossip about the people in your group to the people outside the group.

We must appreciate boys in this point, they have a very strong unity amongst them. Girls have a limited group of 5 or maybe more; but boys have one group which is called – BOYS. Gossip may come from girl’s hostel to boy’s hostels (Girlfriends giving info to their boyfriends); but no news can flow from Boy’s hostel to a girl’s hostel. They have a very strong network which they maintain to the rest of their lives; but girls mostly have short term friendships; it changes from schools to colleges to work places.

5) Use ambiguous statements and leave room for guess work.

When you become the spokesperson in a gossip room; try using ambiguous statements. This will save you if you get into trouble; as ambiguous statements can have more than one meanings; you can conveniently change your track as per your requirement. Also, ambiguous meanings will leave room for more spice and guesswork, this leaves people guessing and wanting for more.

Boys do not have this art, they are blunt and straight!

6) Use an unreliable person to spread a good word/ get back at your enemy.

There are times when you want a good word about you to spread. And if you really want to spread it big and fast; just praise any unimportant man/woman in front of the person who is not trustworthy in keeping secrets.

Such people are very good tools to get back to your enemy; you want to spread a bad word about your enemy, just use the above mentioned rules and slip your vicious words in the ears of the “Upset-stomach-for-secrets” person…. You know next!!!

7) Decide your side

One of the most important rules to keep in mind if you want to remain safe, happy and survive in the gossip game is…. Deciding your side!!!

There maybe 2 or 3 gossip groups in your office or your college. You cannot afford to remain loyal to all or at least two of them at a time. You have to take just one and only one side and remain loyal to it. Though Gossip is a negative trait and very few people accept that they do it; it is still very important to carve out your image in your social circle. When you are just on one side; you will be recognised as a part of one group. Wouldn’t it be better if people say, “Don’t utter a word about Miss. R in front of her, they both are in the same group” instead of, “She is such a snake, she says something to her and something else to other, she has created a hell here.” Would you want people to take their coffee mugs and move away from you???

CONCLUSION
So these are the few rules of Gossip… remember, Gossip has only two sides, fun and pain. Fun for the people who do it and pain for the people who are the discussion. Gossip is a very sadistic and cruel form of entertainment that we seek; though we share a few laughs, bond with friends but when our gossip is at the expense of some body’s life; then that is where we should draw a line. Gossip on little details is fine and manageable, but gossip which is false and baseless can ruin lives. A girl is going through a tough time in her marriage of 5 yrs because her husband met some old friends of the girl and a word slipped out of their mouths that she had sex with a boy on a snooker table. A total baseless story that floated in the school time just to have a few laughs has resulted in a life long doubt and pain for a couple and a shaky future of their 3 yr old kid. So please be careful and listen to your conscience before you indulge in a gossip!!

Happy Gossiping!

In photography, people tell me I should follow the “Rules”. And oh…boy there are a lot of them. There is a “Rule Of Thirds”. There is a “Rule For Balancing Elements”. There is a “Rule For Leading Lines”. There is a “Rule For Symmetry and Patterns”. There is a “Rule For S-Curve”. There is a “Rule for Viewpoint”. There is a “Rule For Composition”. And the list goes on and on and on…

If I try to remember “All” the “Golden Rules”, I would never be able to any photograph. Because I would be too busy concentrating on which “Rule” I should apply to a photograph that all the spontaneity of that moment will be gone. What will make it worst is that all of my photographs will look the same because I am following the “Rules”.

For example, if I follow the “Rule Of Thirds” and “S-Curve”, then all of the photographs of my female clients will look the same. Last thing I was to hear from my clients is that ‘Mark… looks like you are trying to pose me the way that I saw a picture on your website (http://www.KumarPhotography.com ) or blog (http://www.MarkKumar.com )”.

If that isn’t bad enough, by following the “Rules” my creativity will be VERY limited. Because it will be the same boring poses and same boring lighting and so on. 

So, NO THANK YOU to following the “Rules”!!!

I only have ONE Rule – Not to follow any Rules and capture the vision that I have!!!

If I like something, I will photograph it and I don’t care if it doesn’t follow the “Golden Rules”. Or if I want my photograph to have that special feeling in it, I will go to GREAT extent to capture that. Even if it means for me to get on a chair, climb a tree, get on the roof, get into dirt or whatever I have to do. I will do it!!! I am that passionate about capturing my vision!!!

By not following the “Rules” none of my pictures look the same or better yet not be b-o-r-i-n-g!!! They all have some sort of special emotion in them. Whether that emotion is happy, sad, confuse, angry or whatever… It was intentionally captured!

I can do all this by not following the “Rules”!

Love and be loved is the two parts of love, first part is the needs of the emotion and behavior from the heart. The latter is a positive acceptance and enjoyment. The former is not capable women friends will love coming in when not to fall into the psychological conflict of his good, or give love prone to regret and anger after the other problems, this is a typical no capacity for love. 

Love is not only a capacity, but also a need, a need from the heart. Let us think about the people around you if no one needs you, when you want them good, they say no, what would you do? We may have crazy potential. In addition, love is a self-fulfilling process, in this process, we will reap the spiritual nutrition. A person to spend some time each day to watering the yard of Clivia, one hand holding a water bottle and let it gently bowed the clivia’s head, watching the water spray into the plant out of the body, mind a sense of pleasure arises spontaneously, This process is to enjoy the happiness. Shows that happiness is obtained in the same time giving a spiritual joy, not only in the flowers that we happy few days. 

In reality, however, many female friends have neglected this point, when she likes a person or a thing, will have to pay, but not happy. One reason is that the process did not enjoy the love, the eyes just stare at the target, and no understanding of love is their a need for the basin of Clivia you are doing just to meet your needs, it watered process, they have met your needs. Is like “you love and not love it, love it there!” 

Female friends in an intimate relationship will encounter such problems, I fell in love with a man, but love is not happy but very painful. The reason is that you are not the master of this relationship.First you have to understand that love is what you need, love is a process, you want to get something, you love him in the process has been to you, but you just focus on his money or the ability of buying beautiful things for you, so you have missed all his charm. And in the absence of “expected results” of the time, but also injured. If you liked one thing, or a person, we went to enjoy the love of the process, not to set more “purpose”, it will truly love happiness.

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Someone said that the biggest differences in the world are the four bags of apples and iPhone4. When I heard about these words first time, I smiled and then I admired. There are two famous apples in the world. The first one let Newton know the Law of Gravity, and pushed the development of the physical mechanics. The second apple is created by Steven Jobs, it make the electronic products reach a new height. These two apples are too important to us.

A few days ago, I heard that Jobs has dead from news. The world lost a genius who has the richest creations and thinking. At that day, I opened my computer like a normal day. All the news is about Jobs. Actually I didn’t know him before; I just knew he was a CEO of Apple, Inc. so I searched his life on the internet, and I had to say his life is a legend to ordinary people. But he just left us the apple spirits. What is the apple spirits? I have to cite Jobs’ sentences to explain them. The first meaning is the brand of Apple. In order to remember the ancestor who is killed by the poison apple. So he design that brand. The second meaning is about the products of Apple, Inc.

Although Jobs has a short life, his spirits will exist in this world all the time. Everyone has limited life, but we can change our creations. We have the different beginning and walk the different ways, but our goals are the same. We hope to achieve our values. We should not think that we can finish all the things at first. The world needs us, so does the country. We need not to worry about the reason, because the processes are more important than the reason. We can get the experiences from the failure and setbacks. Jobs used his whole life to tell us that we can get the success if we work for the jobs what we like. I hope one day I can have my own company. In order to achieve this goal, from now on I need to develop myself.