Grandparents: pals or pressure!
Introduction
“Grandparents raising their grandchildren”, “grandparent caregivers”, “grandparents-as-parents” and “grandparent-headed families” are interchangeable terminologies which refer to the families where grandparents provide full time parental care to their grandchildren in the absence of the children’s biological parents. In this era of recession where the people are losing their jobs at a much faster rate, parenting is becoming a big worry and therefore parents are becoming more inclined and turning to their own parents to rear their children because of several reasons including the financial insecurity and also because they are seeking jobs elsewhere and therefore grandparents raise their grandchildren due to the inability of the children’s parents to effectively meet their parenting responsibilities. There are other conditions when grandparents become the full-time parent, may be either because of the death of the parent or a parent is away in the military, or because of the career of the parent(s) demand support to rear their kids, and rarely because of the grandparents living along with their children as a single joint family or under the rarest circumstances when the parent/s may be mentally ill, incarcerated, or merely and regrettably incapable of caring for their children (Proud Grandparents).
In many Western societies grandparents have play a dual role- as care providers of their grandchildren and also as grandchild’s parents. And therefore provide full-time parenting role for their grandchildren. This includes a number of changes in family structure and social conditions (Kornhaber, 1996).
Grandparents raising grandchildren is not a new phenomenon. Historically, they have always stood to take over the care of their grandchildren in times of family crisis and have played major roles in raising their grandchildren (Kornhaber, 1996). The growing social phenomenon in USA showed 44% increase over the preceding decade in the number of children living with their grandparents or other relatives. According to the Census 2000 Supplementary survey between 2.3 and 2.4 million grandparents have primary responsibility for the care and upbringing of 4.5 million children (Hayslip & Patrick, 2003a). This phenomenon has captured the attention of researchers, service providers and policy makers in the USA, resulting in a number of interventions to assist grandparents raising grandchildren (Hayslip & Kaminski, 2005).
The U.S. 2000 Census displays that around 2.5 million families with grandparents raising their grandchildren (Kornhaber, 1996). The number is on rise as many families do support other relatives, who act as parents, for e.g. raising their brother or sister’s children or, even yet, raising their niece or nephew’s children. It is an observation that at times grandparents are at work also and still raising their grandchildren. There is a kind of mental, emotional, or financial boding between grandparents and their grandchildren and with time it becomes more than overwhelming or loving, friendly relationship develops between two different generations. Grandparents willingly do everything, for their grandchildren from needing diapers and formula, an appropriate car seat for the toddler, or may it be dealing with a drug-addicted teenager or helping the grandchild if the grandchild is physically or mentally challenged. In return children also develop a bond of love with their grandparents and listen to them more than their own parents.
In this case of physically challenged children, it becomes essential for grandparents to procure financial support. With the age, it becomes difficult and challenging for the grandparents to raise their grandchildren and themselves may be dependent on medicines but it is the faith of the grandparents that drive them to take good care about themselves and also about their future generation, the grandchildren. The bond between both these generations is of pure love and affection. Most of the grandparents express their feelings about their spiritual temperament and think themselves to be directly connected to God or the Divine power in their lives.
On the part of grandparent also it requires lot of patience, courage and dedication to rear a second family. Moreover, grandparents struggle with the family conditions that have directed them to such circumstances. The meaning of the relationship in terms of physical, emotional, social, legal and financial challenges has changed when compared to the situation when they were rearing their own children. After becoming grandparents the meaning of parenthood changes and more softness comes from within for the grandchild as compared to own child. This may become devastating as some of the grandparents ignore most of the deeds their grandchild is doing which may be wrong but out of sheer affection they ignore them. Children of the present generation have good grasping and awareness and then gradually this becomes their habit which is otherwise difficult to avoid.
It is the care giving relationship where care is shown from both the sides. Children feel more comfortable with their grandparents because of several reasons, they feel free as the grandparents spare time for them and are not in hurry for some office work, they feel free as grandparents often tell them stories and about the childhood days and deeds of their own parents. These actions are fascinating for the grandchildren.
In 2002, the southeastern offices of ACF and AoA collaboratively facilitated the formation of a consortium of federal, state, academic, aging and community organizations in Georgia to identify the needs of grandparent-headed families, and to develop a collaborative model to address their needs. U.S. Census, 2005 American Community Survey (Healthy Marriage).
Nationally, 2.4 million grandparents are taking on the responsibility for their grandchildren’s basic needs. 47.2% of all care-giving grandparents in the nation live in the South. Of the grandparent caregivers living in poverty, 23% live in the South (the highest % in the nation). 28% of the grandparent caregivers in the South are over 60 years old. 32% of the grandparent caregivers in South have cared for grandchildren for 5 or more years (Healthy Marriage).
Grandparents rear their grandchildren for the following-
Financial assistance- when parents are not getting enough salary to fulfill the needs of their children they are send to stay with their grandparents for financial assistance. In some cases reverse could be the condition. People pay to their parents to take care of their children and in return grandparents take the responsibility of rearing their grandchildren. Health Insurance- diabetes, heart disease, obesity and HIV/AIDS are a few illnesses which can be covered by the Insurance companies. Some of the Insurance companies do not cover AIDS and cancer diseases. Since most of the illnesses of the grandparents are taken care by the Insurance companies, so they can take care of their grandchildren and bear their expenses. Housing assistance- as people are moving out of Georgia for the jobs so they have to manage with the expenses and rental accommodation. In order to save money on rent as house rents are too high in other states of United States therefore they are bound to keep their children with their parents (Healthy Marriage) and shift in a small accommodation to save money on rent. Child care assistance- child care is the biggest concern for the parents. It becomes more when both the parents are working outside and have to travel to the office. Crutch facilities are available and babysitting arrangements are raising but still people prefer parents over these facilities (Healthy Marriage). Legal assistance- in Georgia separation and divorce cases are also gaining prominence and therefore legal assistance is of much concern for the children. It is therefore single parents have to be dependent on their parents for assisting their child/ children (Healthy Marriage). Support group- legal, education, financial and child care. These groups help in rearing the child in terms of legal concern if the parents or the marriage is going through a divorce or a broken relationship or if the education of the grandchild is of concern of the financial dependency of the grandchild is concerned. Under these conditions grandchildren count on grandparents to provide them with support. Respite opportunities- once in a life time opportunity arises and to avail that to give a break in the career and to meet the demand of the time in jobs it becomes compulsion for the parent to leave the child to the grandparents to take care. Moreover parents have an understanding and a blind faith on their own parents that when they have reared us they can rear our child also with love, care and affection. Mental health- depression, stress suicide prevention, separation and loss. It is more prevalent in high school children and also in the collegiate. It is therefore imperative that grandparents should share their life experiences to smoothen the worries and agony of their grandchildren and help them to overcome depression, or any kind of stress or thoughts of attempting suicide, separation from friend and loss of exams or a year or any financial loss. Kinship care resource centre- affiliation to the care resource centers often help to overcome many rearing problems not only in terms of aids but also in terms of companionship to the grandchildren. Conferences- grandparents can be the best friend of the grandchild and therefore these lasting
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